Hope fades...

It's been a long time since I've written - over three months. They've been some of the harderst months I can remember. My Fall quarter ended up at an 89%. Not at all where I wanted to be, but ok given the emotional turmoil and grade swings I experienced.

We're already four weeks into Winter quarter and it's not looking much different. Except that of the two classes I did well in last quarter; one (Topics) we don't have and the other (Pharm) I've gotten off to a rough start. So, my overall GPA may go down a bit further this quarter. I'm taking it better though. I'm focusing on Boards and not so much on test scores.

I really feel that this year's instruction is not anywhere near the quality we had last year. The "clinicians" are smart, good Docs. But they've proven that can't write lecture notes worth beans and have done a horrible job preparing us for this year. Micro is in terrible shape too. Two Profs are ok, but the rest are useless and ask stupid, irrelevent questions. The class is disorganized and focused on esoteric details. It's like you have to study for Boards Micro separate from class.

Anyway, it's the end of Xmas break and I'm tryng to finish a paper for a third year that would be great for my RadOnc applications. I did manage to read all of FirstAid once through while on vacation, but feel behind in clinical coorelates, Path and Pharm now. Hopefully I can catch up some over the next two days in those subjects.

Ah yes, the last two days (last weekend) of break for the next 6 months. We jst returned from a week in Silver Star in British Columbia where the family vacationed with 19 members of Becky's side of the family. It was blast. The boys learned how to ski decently and I really enjoyed doing the green runs with them after their lessons. I only got in one good day of skiing myself, but the weather and snow were great most of that day. I also listened to 5-6 hours of Goljan USMLE review lectures while skiing down the runs. That is the way to study!

The kids also tried snow boarding (too much pain!) and intertubing while I studied FirstAid. I drank and ate too much, but with the knowledge that the next 6 months is a death march to Boards. The last day Becky and I took the kids on a 50+ km snow mobile tour of the back country that was fanatastic. It was sunny and the snow was perfect for some terrifyingly fast riding. Colton is going to be our speed demon. He was soo excited to drive in the "meadow" and almost got us in a couple crashes. But I did too :-). We stopped at the steepest part of the mountain for hot chocolate, just in time to watch a couple telemarkers launch off into their graceful decents.

If we have the time and inclination to get into skiiing, I'm going to learn telemarking. Watching those two and Becky's brothers got me motivated. The latter woke up at 5am almost every morning and skinned up the mountain, then skiied down for breakfast with us around 7:30am. Great exercise and a lot of fun, even if the climbing is mostly in the dark with headlamps.

Boards planning is going ok. It's amazing how 6 mos seems like so little time. But with classes, 15 exams in the next 7 weeks (!!!) and extra stuff (Onc club, research, electives, etc.) time is going to fly by. Lots and lots of memorization to go...

As for career planning, I'm still very interested in RadOnc and having a good time shadowing my Preceptor who just finished his residency at UW in RadOnc. But it's so competitive that I need to have a fallback. Heme/Onc and Critical Care are possibles, but I'm concerned about the IM residency. It may take more time away from the family and it may require a second move for the fellowship. I could do Anesthesia then CC, but we'll see. Another option is Radiology, but it also is getting extremely competitive. If I can manage a 230 on the USMLE Step 1 it will open up some options, so we'll have to see.

My first rotation is probably going to be Psych in Tacoma. It should be a good break after the Boards and Becky's mom, a former admin at a Psych hospital there, is setting it up for me. The kids will escape the AZ heat with me and the Becky will join us on weekends. Then I'll do the OMM rotation with Dr. Will at the new campus clinic. The rest is going to be worked out over the next couple of months, but I hope I don't have to spend too much time out of town.

That's enough for now. Hopefully grades don't get me so depressed this quarter that I can't force myself to Blog now and again. That or I get a prescription for some psych drug that keeps me sane and well rested. The depression, anxiety and insomnia is getting a bit ridiculous. And to think Becky's family thought I looked happier and more relaxed than in the past. LoL!!